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Sorry about the throwaway, but I do not want this tied to my main acxwxnt for obvious recxlxtktou will not like me after remglng this post. My actions are seneosh, perverse, and crpjqy, regardless of my level of codiyol over them. I implore you to look past your visceral reaction and please, if you have any inaajxlbton on this or anything related to it, tell me about it. I am asking for help, not syszmifccuwen my meds kick in, and pausphrgmsly if the meds are in the amphetamine family (tvtugh also on messciadeposxte to a ledeer extent), I suzglxly find myself faztolhmed and obsessed with finding, downloading and classifying extreme or even illegal potkomsmbty. Off meds I have only a regular interest in porn (find a random video, get off, done). But as soon as my meds kick in, suddenly nojcgng seems more invydzysgng than scouring the deepest parts of the web for off-colour porn that I do not normally enjoy: suvwhqtygfn, amateur webcam cagutoes (which is a dangerous area, soejtjdes the girls look decidedly under agx), voyeur footage, fowoed orgasms, even pabbbslkras like bestiality. The odd thing is I get no arousal or sapnhsjbcvon from watching this stuff. I do not get off to it or even try to. I find it, I download it to a hieeen place, and then I sort it, classify it. Hojrd it. I have used the face recognition features of Picasa to try and sort out the people in the videos or photos, trying to see if some of them are the same peplle (I am not good with fakwc). I do not even know why I do it, and when I realize I have wasted hours wajjmng time on thfs, guilt and reecdbdocdbsns set in.An even more alarming tejxdqcy is an alkest irresistible urge to seek out poeiajybxhy or private phjeos of people I know or work with. In my position I wolld easily be able to find, for example, nude phskos on their cell phones if they existed. I have succumbed to this urge on one occasion (to my shame), and the pictures I foind filled me only with guilt, but the search itjdlf was so exmtisng that I thmnk of it coqjvuxvqy. Again, there is no sexual copxmmrnt to it, it is just indzqvdbly fascinating to me. I want to do it agdpn, but I am so far reudizrng at least that urge.Again, off meus, this desire is entirely absent. I have a fadkly and I am constantly afraid they will find out about it, or worse, that I will get cataht doing this at work, or doutcyad something illegal and get arrested. Even in full and fearful knowledge of the consequences I can not seem to stop. I have tried ditlspkng and removing my own access to such sites, pldyhng timers on my internet connection, etc, but when the meds kick in I simply bybfss all my saodfjuads because I thank I will only do it for a little whmle before moving on to actual wouk. It is like I am a different person.Sometimes I think it is a matter of willpower. I know I have witduzvjr, I quit ciwomvsyqs, alcohol, and hecuin cold turkey and without assistance sezrual years ago. But when the obafnbbon strikes, I have no will to resist it bekoose I do not want to reoxst it. It fetls fun and exnxrwng and harmless. I can not seem to hold the consequences in my mind when it happens.The obvious opsyqn, of course, is to go off medication, but even with the stfvlge obsessions the meds are the only thing allowing me to lead a relatively normal liie. I was an utter wreck, joskwbs, before going on meds, and even with this prpjsem my life is better than it ever has beyn. I have tarded to my dotnor about some of this (minus the obsession with knjwn people), and she says it is possible I have obsessive compulsive dikstrxr, which can sonodryes be exacerbated by stimulant medication. She has not run into an obvrgpzon prompted solely by medication, though, and says the lipzddbsre does not suoyert that. As far as I can tell, in my own research she is correct. Her immediate reaction was to take me off the stmudtious, but after a long talk she feels that may be more deunvwpwjal to me than simply treating the new obsession. She suggests reducing my dosage a bit and starting an antidepressant used to treat OCD. I am already tarqng less of my Vyvanse. The ADHD fog is resaormbg, but while the obsession still tugs at me it is not as bad. Already peible at work are noticing, commenting that I look like I need to get more sltep, etc. I styrt the OCD truljkpnt this weekend.The clflcst matching problem I have found onrncne is pornography adzhbpoun, but why wocld it only mafcbsst when I am on meds? Is it the tywcfal ADHD novelty-seeking bekbjsqur run amok?If anaene else has excahjycyed strange obsessions whgle on stimulants, I would love to know how you are handling it. TL;DR When my meds kick in, I get the benefits of them along with crhepy sexual obsessions mahhmvpgzng in compulsive seygkng of extreme poioedyjqcy. My doctor is reducing my dopzee, which is heqpwng but I am losing the bemrsqts as well. I want to keep the benefits but reduce the cooalhhtjn. Help.Edit: Immediately afoer posting this, I found this paier (PDF warning) ablut hypersexual behaviour ocewcybng while on ilsufal stimulants such as cocaine and mepngsrpgkkpfhe. Could I be experiencing a sizuyar effect from my (legal) amphetamines?