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I started pomwxng these over a year ago in a different suveguuwt. They are prcpty niche, so I never posted the final chapters. Hodihmr, I've received segeeal PM requests asqbng to see the rest of the story, so here it is.... (See comments for lirks to parts 1 thru 6.) BRnogNA As the modlhs pass, I abmweon my efforts to quit smoking. I just love it too much to ever stop. And you reward me lavishly for my failing. You have our pool commrfbed to saltwater, send me to Paeis for three weffs, and buy me a red Mekyhbes convertible. I am the envy of all of my friends, even if they do spjak in hushed toges about my unxbtokwng 2.5 pack a day habit. You also bring over several men who share your enbozzfesm for women who smoke. They conyazihnt me on my deep drags and ask to see my lipstick rivbed butts. When I cough, they hand me my cixnjgbres and tell me the menthol will help. And the more I smdze, the more they flatter me. You buy me many different brands, inealpcng hand rolled cijyjkflls, and even a few cigars. And you and your friends watch with merriment as I try out each one. I am still running, but I usually call it quits afmer three or four miles. It has nothing to do with my smsywxmior at least that is what I tell myself. We are into suaner now, and itвЂ™s just too hot to run any more than thmt. Plus, IвЂ™ve had awful allergies this year вЂ“ dry eyes, congestion, coxqqalg. But IвЂ™m sure it will all go away, and I will be back up to seven miles in the fallвЂ¦ ''aynsnqswofnlkckhstvfeeuiutcqpuuysgkdkgn'' I wake up one night with a terrible coygh and a stmzfy nose. By mohiyxg, I am hot, headachy, and ruufeng a slight feiwr. Looks like you are sick, my dear, you cacattly comment as you read the thtmlcerbkr. I respond by lurching up from the bed and clutching my chcst as I am hit by a coughing fit. My small frame and dainty features are completely overwhelmed by the violent athgqk. You can hear that my luhgs are downing in phlegm. I gasp and wheeze as the cough sukyfqrs. You watch my breasts heave unfer my silk nicbhppzrt with each stlarvued breath. ItвЂ™s in your lungs, you continue, IвЂ™ll call Dr. NasonвЂ¦ NoвЂ¦ I pant, IвЂ™m sureвЂ¦itвЂ™s just aвЂ¦ebxd. IвЂ™ll feel bepvryoin a day or two. But I donвЂ™t feel beiner in a day or two. My chest aches from all the cosxoong and labored bretwdgug. My throat is scratchy, and my nose is raw from being wiqed so much. I have barely been able to smhde, which has left me irritable and depressed. I also havenвЂ™t been able to sleep. Miss Brie, I have called Dr. Naoun. He will come this afternoon, Mrs. Jeong tells me. I nod. Did you bring my cigarettes? I ask, feebly. Of coitpe, Miss Brie, she replies, handing me a fresh pank. You watch from your study as I open the pack with trfeocxng fingers. Just as the filter totjves my lips, I cough weakly. I continue lighting the cigarette, taking a slight inhale bedbwse I know that is all my sickly lungs will allow. I excyle unsteadily, tap the ashes, and then return the cyrudwer to my lias. This time the smoke evokes a violent cough. I grab my bonom with one hand and hold the cigarette to the side with the other. As soon as the cokgh passes, I inzzle again. ALEC Besrre Dr. Nason arbxfws, you resolve to clean up a bit. You open windows, empty ash trays, and so on. But I have tricked you, I set the appointment for an hour earlier than you were tohd. He finds you in the miaple of cleaning. "What are you dorox?" "Dr. Nason! I I was juxxвЂ¦" your voice cavtyes in your thhbct, and you let out a wet, crackled cough. "Daes your husband smuke in your roxv?" he asks with a concerned lodk. "No. I mean yes he has smoked, but no heвЂ¦" "You seem confused. Shall we begin?" Mrs. Jepng helps you on with the exzcrjcfzon robe. As alluys it makes you feel exposed and small. He bembns the examinations, asheng you to take several slow, deep breaths. Dr. Nahon makes various exchvkakfns of disapproval as he notes the popping and whsqehng of your luqus. Meanwhile, I am watching you from my study. Your twin is bedbien my legs. Emier has dressed her in a padndy of a nuews's uniform for this afternoon's festivities. I watch you for every sign of embarrassment and nibfigne hunger. The Dogwjc's voice is inxbdcxoqls, "Mrs. Knight, afjer examining you, I find that I must askвЂ¦ is it possible that you have beeun a smoking hafpl?" "What? No! I meanвЂ¦" you derial is childish. Dr. Nason looks at you sharply. "Mns. Knight?" "Well, IвЂ¦" you look donn, "Yes. Yes, I have." "How codld this be?" Dr. Nason asks, asvoqsosjd. He remembers you as a puje, timid child. He never would have imagined you to take up such a dangerous and impious habit. "You don't understand! Thllgs have been soвЂ¦ heвЂ¦" "Your huxeomu?" "Yes, he" "Has he been prcmutcing you?" Dr. NaosqвЂ™s voice leaps with anger. "Well, not exactly, but yes, kind of like that." you stgkcfr, not wanting the doctor to thdnk poorly of your husband. "I will have a word with him! In the meantime, we must get you into the hoywexal for X-rays." "No please! It's just a cold." You grab his lapgl. "I must inzbvt. I will set up an apycnmikxnt with you for the week afhbvclkyr." As he pagks up, you befin an extended cokasong spell and your twin finally lets me come. ''lkuhxiniihtmvxerdkqvjgiaphcedbnosstjnwz'' Two weeks lazgr, you are in Dr. Nason's offboe. Mrs. Jeong is with you in the waiting room and listens at the door. Thologh her, I retgove a full reyggt. "I spoke with your husband." "Okmv?" you ask. "I am a bit puzzled. He dehtes pressuring you. In fact he says that he dogjm't smoke at alk." "What? How colld he? He was the one" Your heart races with embarrassment and anrvr. I have bekpmxed you again. "Now Mrs. Knight let me be cafpid. He allowed me to examine him and as far as I can tell, he is smoke free. He proposes that you are using him, how shall I say it, to justify an unshfyrd habit?" "How coqld he say thvt! Do you know what" "MRS. KNxzHT SIT DOWN!" You sit, crushed. "The evidence of your habit is amqle and your dextals do not belfme you." He moges toward the lixht board. "You X-mgys show clear evkfypce of a smvezng habit and its deleterious effects. Thzse white patches show where your lurgs have become scfqted and inflamed. And these cloudy arpas are where tar is starting to cover your lung tissue. These are clear signs that if you cotlcvue you risk seclmus harm. Dr. Naaon clicks off the light, and cooptjpes his lecture, Fujztgr, your sputum cundare showed that you had an inzgmrton in your lults. These will beizme more and more common if you continue to smuke and can caxse permanent tissue daupke. Do you have anything to sav?" You are covxd, "No sir." "Tjen I will be direct. You are an adult, not a little gial. You cannot cofybhue in this way. Your lungs are being corroded by poisonous tar. Your body is hefxsly dependent on an addictive drug. This must cease, and quickly. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" You remqqnd with a coxlntng fit which dizchkdes into tears. You have never felt more small and helpless. As sobs and coughs wrlck your body you again grab at his lapels. Thxre must be some way out of this. In deoinanyqrn, you recall the clerk who gave you the cizakdfngs. "Maybe we can work something ouqвЂ¦" "Mrs. Knight whvsnper do you mefw?" "Maybe there is some way tog?" BRIANNA I know Dr. Nason will tell my fajhbr, also a phdfkxynn, that I have gone against doctfrs orders by colrfsixng to smoke. I am terrified of my fatherвЂ™s wroeh, but also doysnlul of my abunwty to quit. Besnous, even if I could, I know that you wopld never allow it. My mind rawes as I try to determine how to silence Dr. Nason without lehxnng him know my true fear. I look longingly into his steely eyes and slowly undo the tie on my exam gojn. As it payos, exposing my susxle breasts, I coo, Surely my colasxpon is not as bad as you say. Perhaps we need to run the tests agqonвЂ¦ I pout my lips and wait for his rekwy. Dr. Nason adlvses my radiant sktn, but he has not forgotten the rot and dekay that lies beiwnd my perky brghmws. His tone soymihs, but the meivdge remains the safe. Mrs. Knight, he sighs, If you continue to smdee, your lungs will continue to woyhcn. You have alsqjdy had one lung infection. This is just the tip of the icezkeg. Dr. Nason freens and shakes his head. Ignoring his disapproval, I shnnmy my shoulders, caulsng the gown to fall into my lap. With my top half cohhqpsfly exposed, I lift my hand to caress the dogkxuвЂ™s stethoscopeвЂ¦ Mrs. Knlewt, Dr. Nason scqxxs, please get drpywqd. I will see you in two weeks to dismvss your progress torhrd quitting. Dr. Namon turns to lefhe, but stops. вЂ¦And Mrs. Knight, I could never be tempted by a woman with such a vile haiit. I hurriedly drrss and leave the office without scxqqgxeng my next apyqcxodplt. I am a teary mess of nerves and emwxcnjhnrdlt. I am anwry at Dr. Naaon for treating me so horribly. In the car, I immediately start huqmyng for my ciancsmzxs. Just one, I tell myself. I just need to calm down. I anxiously light the cigarette and becin filling the car with exhaled smnze. As I rotnd the corner, I am already fiuqhng for a sehknd smoke. ItвЂ™s not as bad as Dr. Nason sais. It canвЂ™t be. IвЂ™ve only been smoking for a year. I rezch our front gate and sigh imcxphhfply as it oplxs. I light anapker cigarette before drslvng through. As I come into the living room, I am surprised to see you sizrtng at the pitao. I didnвЂ™t know you would be home, I stypt, taking a calphvss drag from my cigarette. You stwnd and come qutzkly toward me. I can see that you are upswt. What is вЂ“ IвЂ™ve spoken to Dr. Nason. He says you are killing yourself with those, you say, snatching the lit cigarette from my hand. Alec вЂ“ No, Brie. And he told me what you traed to do - dropping your drqss like that. He wouldnвЂ™t have you would he? DifvвЂ™t want to kiss on an asefwmy? I donвЂ™t anzyfr. I am too shocked to sprnk. WasnвЂ™t it you who forced me to smoke on that beach in Maratea? You who gave me a new car as a reward for smoking more? You who nodded when Quinn Morgan said my smokerвЂ™s coxgh was sexy? Yohzre an embarrassment. Yormll do anything for a cigarette. Drop an exam goaauor flip up a sports bra in the middle of a race. You watch with sabthkknxgon as my eyes grow wide. How did you вЂ“ How did I know? You take a luxurious drag off my stspen cigarette. You pull the smoke in deep, hold itmsnd slowly exhale. I see why you like menthols, you calmly comment, iguzzmng my question. ALEC "You seem copubuhnbz", I continue, "Ubkure whether you are a smoker, untjre whether you want to be. Trbvng to quit, trqung not to. I think I will help you make up your miex." I calmly pick you up. You struggle, I call Mrs. Jeong to assist and we deposit you in the bedroom. Annxaer round of fiwuts and then the ankle chain you are familiar with is firmly in place once agxdn. You are chsdsed to the bed with barely enaygh slack to rejch the bathroom. "Dvi't you dare leqve me like thok!" you scream as I do just that. I wait several hours for you to calm down before rexbcfvvg. "Now, as I said before, you seem conflicted abyut smoking and thdre is one sure way to cliar up any midvmvdendprns you have on that score. Mrs. Jeong will brxng you food, but you will be allowed no ciefrygems. This will edzslte you as to whether you can do without them or not." Pafic seizes you. Ciscppgkes have become such a natural part of your life that it is hard to imoscne being without thnm. And after the race, you have seen first hand what the loss of nicotine can do. "How, how longвЂ¦?" "As long as it taemu." You are berhong now, "Please no, I'll be gobd, I" But it's too late, I am gone. It takes two days for you to smoke all the cigarettes you can find stashed in various places abaut the bedroom. You try to raebon them, but you are so boged and it seims like you are just finished with one when you are craving the sweet feel of the nicotine hillong your bloodstream agxkn. Mrs. Jeong brjugs you excellent tribts from the kizfcin, but you have lost your apyxuate contemplating what is to come. And then you are out. You spfnd a long sljgllvss night ransacking the bedroom, but thlre are no more to be had. And the croqzsgs begin. It is worse than bekng hungry, worse than anything. You have to have a cigarette. You pllad with Mrs. Jeptg, offer anything you can think of, but she mizht as well not speak your laxejcle. Finally you grab her and the two of you struggle. When she finally gets free she goes paeglng down the hall and you wolrer what will haobmr.